Last year I wrote, “mine has been an evolution from retreat to advance,” and in the words of the late Calvin Thorpe Sr.,
“I Meant That Thang.”
Let me make this clear:
I No Longer Play Small.
Where once I bowed my head,
- deferring to the needs and opinions of others,
- patiently making peace,
- waiting my turn,
- expecting reciprocity,
I now stand boldly, the image of the All-Wise and Loving God, Imago Dei, the Divine African Feminine Pillow upon which I kneel to offer my daily petitions. (As each of us is Imago Dei, this is whom I see in the mirror. )
I am clearer now than I ever have been in 57 years (…58 is loading). Trust me, y’all ain’t ready.
While I allege far greater frequent use of profanity than is actually the case, I am getting your attention. As a writer, I obsess over the precise selection of the right tool. When I warn readers that
I Love the Lord AND I Cuss,Tweet
I am preparing you for a raw, frank discussion.
Here We Go.
My OneWord comes to me each year courtesy of one or the other of my best friends. If you know me, we can agree that I’m a lot. That’s why God positioned two remarkable women in my life, my guardians fore and aft, left and right. They have become friends through me, and we can attest,
A Cord of Three Strands is Not Easily Broken.Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
My OneWord always comes spontaneously, delivered during an early morning stroll while dog walking, always both a complete surprise and the only right answer. And, the moment I speak that word, in full recognition, every year, since 2010, I know that THAT’S IT.
This Year Was No Different
This year was no different in the way that the word manifested. What WAS different was that I have been active for 12 years, each year choosing a DO SOMETHING word. However, I’m changing up for good this time.
Despite never prioritizing my own life, I’m that chick always side-eyeing friends, famous for telling THEM to put their own oxygen masks on first. I SUCK (4 letters) at self-care.
Physician, Heal Thy Damn Self (toldja I cuss)Tweet
Howsenevah, (if ya know then ya know)
In October, I began learning a new lesson. I have always professed the need for a personal Savior. Y’all say it to me ALLATIME,
…and you’re right.
HOWEVER, I first had to confess that I could NOT be God.
I was never in control.
- I never had any of the answers (although I can fake it #likeabawse).
- I get [deleted 4-letter word] DONE.
- I may slowly be dying inside, but nevertheless, I show up, show out, and break newspaper with. ON THE REGULAR.
(It’s What I Do)
I learned in October that all of this comes as a cost, one I don’t have to pay if I learn to consistently do this one thing…(4 letter OneWord loading…)
On October 1, 2021,
I heard clearly that I was to write for 31 days, about getting out of God’s Way. For all the times I have intended to participate in 31 Days as a writer, knowing that people have launched new ventures, new careers, (and that’s what I wanted), I have only participated three times, awakening in a panic on the morning of October 1 each time, knowing “deep in my know” that I can’t not write. Each time I have been obedient, and successful.
Each experience grows me bit by bit.
I Am Confessing (Again) that I Need God Because I Am Not God (full stop)
I am also fully committing to and professing that…
This OneWord will not be like any that have preceded it, because I was never ready to be, before now, whom I am becoming. And, because I am one of God’s special children, my OneWord has Four Letters.
Welcome 2022. You no longer get to take the shots at me that all your predecessors got to take.
I am NO LONGER your target.
My 2022 OneWord is a four-letter word by which I pledge to direct my life for the next 365 days, and by God’s Grace, for all the remaining days I walk upon this earth. I have finally, FINALLY learned to get out of my own way in order to Watch God Move.