All In, or how to live brave.

I believe neither in accidental nor random.

This morning, these words from theologian Frederick Buechner hit me hard, dead upside my head.

“What God says, on the other hand, is “The life you save is the life you lose.” In other words, the life you clutch, hoard, guard, and play safe with is in the end a life worth little to anybody, including yourself.”

I was on the train, minding own business, mostly, and then everything came clearly into focus. Not the what, but the Why.

What’s the why ? Because everything we say and do matters…airy damb bit of it.

After reading, I wrote,

“I’ma just need to sit with this. I know I never heard it like this, with these ears, this context, this life, at this time. It is freeing. Comforting, even. It subtly, fundamentally, permanently changes everything, like the axis for your True North just righted itself, by only a degree or two. Like you were always headed towards, but now you are headed directly, Home.”

Yesterday’s revelation of Grace was that

“I cannot unsee what I have seen,”

and also that I won’t be quiet about it. Now, to God be the Glory, I understand why.

Our lessons await our readiness. It was never time, until it was time.

And so it begins again. Someone kindly described me today as a “strong Christian woman.” My reply was “thanks. What I am is a Jesus-following hot mess” but I am also Imago Dei, so that’ll have to do.

For now.

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